1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,162 MARY ALICE: Previously on Desperate Housewives. 2 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:06,737 Ten years ago, Carlos' mother died after being hit by a car 3 00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:08,070 that Andrew was driving. 4 00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:09,731 MARY ALICE: Orson packed his bags. 5 00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:11,905 You're not the woman I thought you were. 6 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,539 He's my son. I have no choice. 7 00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:16,606 And I no longer choose to be your husband. 8 00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:18,874 MARY ALICE: And Bree decided to come clean. 9 00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:20,545 There's something I need to tell you. 10 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,885 It's the kind of thing that could end our friendship. 11 00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:25,547 MARY ALICE: A dying nurse made a confession. 12 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:29,119 The people who run this hospital need to know what I did. 13 00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:31,892 (SIGHING) How do you tell parents the child they've been raising 14 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,395 isn't really theirs? 15 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,896 MARY ALICE: Financial worries drove Susan to a big decision. 16 00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:38,301 You can't sell your house. 17 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,668 We're not selling. We're renting. 18 00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:42,636 MARY ALICE: Which led to the return of a long-lost neighbor. 19 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:44,838 Truth is, I used to live here. 20 00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:47,105 Well, then I guess everyone will be surprised to see you again. 21 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,014 They absolutely will. 22 00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:59,815 MARY ALICE: There was a time when my husband and I were very happy. 23 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:03,320 I remember warm summer afternoons 24 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:07,924 and backyard barbecues and laughter with friends. 25 00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:12,867 Our life was like some kind of suburban dream. 26 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:17,005 But the day comes when we all must wake up. 27 00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:25,979 For me that day came when a letter arrived. 28 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:32,549 As threats go, it was concise and to the point. 29 00:01:34,994 --> 00:01:38,521 I did what I had to to protect my family. 30 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,727 My husband found out who wrote the letter. 31 00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:49,374 He let her know how much this upset him. 32 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:55,080 Her sister figured out what my husband had done. 33 00:01:57,350 --> 00:02:00,842 So she decided to frame him for murder. 34 00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:06,081 Her murder, to be more specific. 35 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:11,752 And that's when the dream that was Paul Young's life 36 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,026 became a nightmare. 37 00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:21,372 Years later, a woman was pulled over for speeding. 38 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:22,567 (SIREN WAILING) 39 00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:28,245 The woman had no identification, 40 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,677 so she was arrested. 41 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,677 And that is how people learned 42 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:38,020 that Felicia Tilman was very much alive. 43 00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:44,189 I see you got the suit I sent over. You like it? 44 00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:46,528 I like anything that's not orange. 45 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,730 Well, get ready to do all sorts of shopping. 46 00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:51,268 Your settlement check came in. 47 00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:53,399 So where are you going first? 48 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,202 After all these years in prison, I bet you're ready to party. 49 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,571 All I want is to go home. 50 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:00,871 What? To your old neighborhood? 51 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:02,746 You sound surprised. 52 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:05,478 Well, none of your neighbors supported you during the trial. 53 00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:07,813 They didn't visit while you were here. 54 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,946 No one would blame you if you hated them a little. 55 00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:13,753 Oh, I don't hate them 56 00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:15,925 a little. 57 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:22,257 And so, my husband returned to Wisteria Lane. 58 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:29,500 The neighbors were surprised to see him. 59 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:33,239 They hadrt thought about Paul Young in years. 60 00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:36,772 But he had thought about them. 61 00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:43,146 And he was going to make sure they'd never forget him again. 62 00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:59,969 The phone call that comes in the middle of the night. 63 00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:04,338 The letter that arrives by special courier. 64 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:08,442 The e-mail marked "urgent." 65 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:15,311 Yes, there are all sorts of ways bad news can be delivered. 66 00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:18,351 But some news is so bad, 67 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,720 it must be delivered in person. 68 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,520 Why do I have to tell them? 69 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,690 You said this couple lives in your neighborhood. 70 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:30,395 Trustees of the hospital feel that makes you uniquely qualified. 71 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:33,837 And just what am I supposed to say? "Great block party. 72 00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:37,365 "By the way, one of our nurses may have switched your baby at birth. 73 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,637 "Try the dip!" 74 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:42,045 Every minute we wait, this hospital takes on more liability. 75 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:46,643 Now get on over to Wisteria Lane and tell those people what's going on. 76 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,887 I don't know how I'm gonna do this. 77 00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:51,479 There's only one way to deliver news like this, 78 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,717 remain as calm as possible. 79 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:58,363 Bree, get out here! 80 00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:01,224 Damn it! Why is nobody home? 81 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:04,728 Lorna! Gwen! Oh, thank God. 82 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,771 Hi, Karen? What's wrong? 83 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:07,931 Paul Young. 84 00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:09,065 He's back. 85 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,903 (GASPS) What? 86 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,207 You heard me! Now don't just stand there! We gotta warn people. 87 00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:15,013 Come on. 88 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,181 (BREE EXHALES) 89 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,944 Bree, I've never seen you like this. Are you all right? 90 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:25,019 I have something horrible to tell you and I don't know how to say it. 91 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,354 You better think of something, you're starting to freak me out. 92 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:33,096 Remember that night when Carlos' mother was run over by a car? 93 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,101 Well, I know who did it. 94 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,035 You what? 95 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,302 It was Andrew. 96 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,737 Oh, God. 97 00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,643 He was only 16. I was afraid he was gonna go to jail, 98 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:52,048 so Rex and I decided to cover it up. 99 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:57,245 Oh, this is... This is bad. This is really bad. 100 00:05:58,925 --> 00:05:59,949 I need to go throw up a little. 101 00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:01,788 I am so sorry, 102 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,328 and I realize I should have told you sooner. 103 00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:06,492 No! No, no, no. You shouldn't have told me at all! 104 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:07,590 What? 105 00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:10,500 Now I have to tell Carlos and he's going to kill Andrew 106 00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:11,935 and then he's going to have to go to prison. 107 00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:15,134 So thank you for sending my husband to prison, Bree. Nice work! 108 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,472 I just couldn't live with the secret any longer. 109 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,068 And when Orson found out, he told me I was a horrible person. 110 00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,074 That's why you told me? 111 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,982 Oh, please. We're all horrible people. 112 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,416 You see this? It's yours. 113 00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:29,012 They delivered it here, I kept it. Horrible! 114 00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:32,649 Just so you know, Orson was so disgusted he's divorcing me! 115 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:35,853 Normally I'd give you a hug, but right now I sort of don't give a crap! 116 00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:37,919 Again, very sorry. 117 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,958 God, how am I going to tell Carlos? 118 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,525 He is going to be so angry, 119 00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,265 and he'll probably find a way to blame me. 120 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,634 (SOBBING) 121 00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:51,204 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 122 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:54,674 You'll never guess who's back. 123 00:06:57,283 --> 00:07:00,844 Mom, we don't have any clean plates. Didrt you run the dishwasher? 124 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,445 We're also out of milk. You gotta go to the store. 125 00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,218 And the dry cleaners while you're at it. 126 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,657 Okay, everybody. Look at your hands! 127 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,087 Come on. Mmm-hmm. 128 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,160 Anyone not holding a baby, you're on your own. 129 00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:15,224 You can wash and shop and clean for yourselves. 130 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,134 My days of being the perfect mom are over. 131 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,231 And when were those days, exactly? 132 00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:22,831 It's my uterus that's worn out, not my hearing. 133 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,307 So you're not going to help with anything? 134 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,004 'Cause this place is really starting to go to hell. 135 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,307 Baby number five! 136 00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:31,680 An entire basketball team has come out of me. 137 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:34,481 So I am officially too exhausted to care. 138 00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:35,782 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 139 00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:39,780 You know, the good moms enjoy doing stuff for their families. 140 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:40,850 PARKER: Hello. 141 00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:43,157 That's your brother Preston. He's about to be beaten. 142 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,994 Yes, he is. Yes, he is. 143 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:49,066 Mom, it's Renee Perry. 144 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,602 Hey, Renee! 145 00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,035 Who's Renee Perry? 146 00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,561 She's your mom's friend from college. 147 00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,767 She's married to Doug Perry, who plays for the Yankees! 148 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,037 And she's really rich. 149 00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,271 How rich? 150 00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:01,370 Every few years Renee flies Mom to New York 151 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:02,711 for a big, fancy weekend. 152 00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:06,013 And Mom always comes back in a great mood. 153 00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,213 So this might be perfect timing. 154 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,551 Damn it to hell. She's coming here! 155 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,421 - When? - Tomorrow! 156 00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:13,582 Why? 157 00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:17,060 I don't know, but that is something we can talk about 158 00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:19,428 while we turn this dump into an actual home! 159 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,865 Okay, people, move, move, move! Let's go. 160 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,529 Come on. Hey, you, too, Tom. 161 00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,227 I'm holding the baby. 162 00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:29,605 Well, spray her with some glass cleaner and rub her on the windows. 163 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,939 I don't want Renee to know I live like this. 164 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,069 But, Mama, she's your friend, 165 00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:35,012 won't she like you no matter how you live? 166 00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:36,537 She's not that kind of friend. 167 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:43,252 You're never going to believe who's back. 168 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:47,415 Here we are. Home sweet 169 00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:49,959 home. 170 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,789 So, what do you think, buddy? 171 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,268 This is where we're gonna live? 172 00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:59,169 Yeah. 173 00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,999 So, are we poor? 174 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,101 (MIKE SIGHS) 175 00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:08,978 If you field this one, I'll tell him where babies come from. 176 00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:10,839 (SUSAN SIGHS) 177 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:15,118 No, honey. We're not poor. We're just 178 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,086 lower middle-class. 179 00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,251 Poor people wish they could live like this. 180 00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:22,551 They shouldn't. 181 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:27,196 Oh! Sweetie, I know this isn't what we're used to. 182 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,000 Buddy, we're not going to lie to you. 183 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:32,504 Money is a little tighter than before, but that's why we're here. 184 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,302 So we can save up and get back to our house. 185 00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:36,899 And it's not gonna take that long. 186 00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:39,671 Your daddy's taking on extra jobs, and I'm still teaching. 187 00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:43,978 And I'm going to start selling that really cool jewelry I've been making. 188 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:45,711 Oh, God. 189 00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:47,417 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 190 00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:50,182 Sweetie, it's gonna be okay. 191 00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:53,919 And as long as we're together, we can survive this. 192 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,324 - Hello? - KAREN: Susan. 193 00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,161 Hi, Miss McCluskey. What's up? 194 00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:02,258 You'll never believe this. Paul Young is back. 195 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,393 What? 196 00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:04,766 (BRAKES SQUEALING) 197 00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:07,395 Where is he? 198 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,336 Where do you think? 199 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,002 He's in the house you rented to him! 200 00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:13,739 I didn't know! Lee just told me it was a guy. 201 00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,440 You didn't even ask for his name? 202 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,548 He paid an advance and he didn't have pets! I didn't care! 203 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,415 How is Paul even out of jail? 204 00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:22,784 That maniac was serving a life sentence! 205 00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:24,378 PAUL: Hello, ladies. 206 00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:29,255 If you'd like to come in for a while, I'll tell you the story. 207 00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:34,924 Come on, now. It's a good one. 208 00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:39,367 Felicia Tilmars alive? 209 00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:43,567 Why are you so surprised? I said that over and over again at my trial. 210 00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:47,905 Oh, wait. That's right. None of you could make it to the courthouse. 211 00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,946 - Look, Paul... - It's okay. 212 00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:53,609 You were busy. I get it. 213 00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:55,916 I told myself I'd explain how I was framed 214 00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:57,650 when you came to visit me in prison. 215 00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:59,213 Oh, wait... 216 00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:01,718 We're so sorry. 217 00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:06,496 In our defense, we thought you were a cold-blooded killer. (CHUCKLES) 218 00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:14,837 What you endured over the last 10 years, I can't even imagine it. 219 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,808 No, you can't. 220 00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:20,343 But the good news is, 221 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:21,744 I'm back. 222 00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,114 Yeah, about that, um, 223 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,119 why did you want to come back here? 224 00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:29,247 Why do you think? 225 00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:30,785 I missed my friends. 226 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,855 (CHUCKLES) 227 00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:36,023 Innocent or not, that guy still gives me the creeps. 228 00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:38,962 I can't believe Paul Young is back on Wisteria Lane. 229 00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:41,023 And he's using my shower. 230 00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,546 Jack? 231 00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:01,879 You here for your nine iron? 232 00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:03,649 Damn, I thought if I shaved, you wouldn't recognize me 233 00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,316 and I could keep it. 234 00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:09,788 Actually, I need to talk to you and your wife. 235 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:12,062 Hey, Gabby. 236 00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,223 In a minute! 237 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,897 You look a little pale, buddy. Is something wrong? 238 00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:20,005 I think we should wait for Gabby. 239 00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:23,806 Jack, what's going on here, man? You're making me nervous. 240 00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:25,838 Let's just go inside, huh? 241 00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,675 No. This is impossible. 242 00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:32,876 We still have the bracelet they put around Juanita's ankle in the hospital. 243 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:36,353 Theresa Pruitt was the nurse in charge of those bracelets 244 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:39,380 and, although the hospital did not know this at the time, 245 00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:41,153 she had a drinking problem. 246 00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,218 And eight years later you're telling me this? 247 00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:46,230 I've spent eight years loving someone else's daughter? 248 00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:51,200 Again, I want to stress that the hospital only belatedly... 249 00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,228 Jack, I swear to God, if you go lawyer on me, 250 00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,034 I will put your head through a wall! 251 00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:01,971 (CARLOS SIGHS) 252 00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:04,209 So where is our 253 00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:07,344 biological... 254 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,344 God, I don't even know what to call her. 255 00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:11,822 We haven't been able to track the family down yet. 256 00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,255 Then we're not telling Gabby. 257 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,557 Not until you find this other girl. 258 00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:18,893 Carlos, I have a legal responsibility here. 259 00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:21,957 - She has to be told. - Fine. I'll do it. 260 00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:27,769 (SIGHS) 261 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,637 But I don't know how. 262 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,738 This is going to destroy her. 263 00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:43,319 Nope, I was wrong. Preston, switch back with Parker. 264 00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:44,788 Why are we doing this? 265 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,552 When Renee pulls up to this house, 266 00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:49,493 she's going to see the one thing I can show off. 267 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:52,929 My beautiful, beautiful family. 268 00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,467 What is that, a pimple? Get in the back. 269 00:13:57,036 --> 00:14:00,096 Honey, don't you think you're getting a little carried away? 270 00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:02,664 Tom, that woman lives in a penthouse, 271 00:14:02,741 --> 00:14:05,141 we had to give up meat so we could buy a laptop. 272 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:06,303 Let me have this! 273 00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:07,811 Is that her? 274 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,178 Oh! Of course it is. 275 00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:20,017 Okay, everybody, smile for Mom and her strange and twisted friendship. 276 00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:27,791 Hi! 277 00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,333 I'm back, Rodolfo. 278 00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:34,133 Please tell Signor Cipriani I always stay at that suite when I visit Venice 279 00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:36,937 and if it's not available, I will be very unappy. 280 00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:39,774 Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone more important 281 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,109 I need to speak with. 282 00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,107 Hi! 283 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:47,047 Hey, Jose. Thanks for holding. Look, I can't do Thursday. So... 284 00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:50,114 Jose, she'll call you back. 285 00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:52,016 Lynette, you haven't changed. 286 00:14:52,157 --> 00:14:53,181 Neither have you. 287 00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:55,687 Hi, sweetie. 288 00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:57,554 (GASPS) 289 00:14:57,596 --> 00:15:00,326 Oh, no. Please tell me you didn't dump Tom 290 00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:03,460 for this handsome, young trophy husband. 291 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:04,935 It's me, Renee. 292 00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:09,000 I mean, I do work out, like, three times a week, 293 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,338 so maybe that's what you're... 294 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:12,970 Oh, okay. 295 00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:15,804 - Are these your kids? - Yes. 296 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:19,841 Yes. And here is our latest addition. 297 00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,213 Aw! 298 00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:22,684 She's precious! 299 00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:28,024 Look at you all. What a perfect little suburban picture. 300 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,756 Well, you know, I've been blessed. 301 00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,692 Very blessed. 302 00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:37,259 I'm sorry I've got to run, Renee, but I'm late for work. 303 00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:41,132 Work? And I thought you wore that sexy tie just for me. 304 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:46,038 You like it? They say bolder colors are coming back, so I thought I'd... 305 00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,407 Okay. 306 00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:49,908 LYNETTE: Bye. TOM: Bye. 307 00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:51,449 LYNETTE: I love you. 308 00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:55,384 Oh! I gotta say, Lynette, this place is adorable. 309 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:59,119 It's so cozy and intimate and... 310 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:03,423 Pay attention, kids. You're learning a lot of new words for "small." 311 00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,520 Oh, that's not what I meant. 312 00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:09,193 I hate banging around my lonely old barn of a house. 313 00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:12,465 Sometimes weeks go by without me running into a servant. 314 00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:15,040 I'm sure you see them on whipping day. 315 00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:17,602 Lynette, why so mean? 316 00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:20,611 I worked on these compliments all the way from the airport. 317 00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,914 - Drive slower next time. - Mom... 318 00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:26,412 It's all right. We're just old friends reconnecting. 319 00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:29,880 And I'm being sincere. This is the way to go. 320 00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,913 Stripped down to the bare essentials. 321 00:16:31,957 --> 00:16:34,084 You know, more people should live like this. 322 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:37,094 (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) Most people do live like this. 323 00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:38,960 When you're flying in your private jet 324 00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:42,965 and you look down and go, "Wow, they look like ants down there," 325 00:16:43,035 --> 00:16:44,127 we're the ants. 326 00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:46,762 So, you have a private jet? 327 00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:49,501 Well, it's not just ours, we share it with the team. 328 00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:52,305 Wait. So you get to hang out with the Yankees? That's awesome! 329 00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:53,973 How is Doug, by the way? 330 00:16:54,446 --> 00:16:55,913 Oh, he's fine. 331 00:16:55,948 --> 00:17:00,146 But all that stuff, the team, the jet, the money, it's like a fantasy world. 332 00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:02,585 This is what I yearn for. 333 00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:04,020 This is real. 334 00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,317 This 335 00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:06,653 is 336 00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:08,283 sticky. 337 00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:11,160 So are you staying in a really fancy hotel? 338 00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:13,631 Well, I came straight from the airport. 339 00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:15,257 So I haven't booked a hotel yet. 340 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,824 Oh, why don't you stay with us? 341 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:19,132 Oh, I'm sure Renee wouldn't want to... 342 00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:20,866 I would love to. 343 00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:24,799 Are you sure? 'Cause, you know, five kids, 344 00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,538 it gets stickier. 345 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,204 Oh, I don't mind. It'd be fun. 346 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:32,341 I've got a lot of catching up to do with my old, old friend. 347 00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:38,046 By the way, I have a doctor who can get rid of one of those "olds." 348 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:39,681 All right. 349 00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:42,727 Well, I guess I could set you up on the sleeper sofa. 350 00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,626 A sleeper sofa? Ooh! 351 00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:47,063 Look at me. I'm one of the ants! 352 00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:53,469 Hi, you own the building, right? 353 00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:56,303 I'm Susan Delfino. My husband Mike and I are in 1 B. 354 00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,366 Jiggle the handle. The toilet's fine. 355 00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:01,911 No, no, no. I'm just dropping off the security deposit. 356 00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,504 Sorry it's late. 357 00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:04,743 We've been having some money problems. 358 00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:07,174 Have you? 359 00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:11,153 Well, I'm Maxine. 360 00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,088 Come on in, I'm making some tea. 361 00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:15,824 - Thanks. - Come on. 362 00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:19,996 That is such a shame about Mike's business. 363 00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:24,329 And here you are, with no skills, trying to make ends meet. 364 00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:25,529 Oh, I have skills. 365 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:28,199 I make my own jewelry. I made this. 366 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,537 Can you believe it? 367 00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:33,043 I really can. 368 00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:36,777 You know, I remember when my husband Sidney passed away. 369 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,249 His illness took every dime we had. 370 00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:40,945 And I didn't know what I was going to do. 371 00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:45,456 Well, looks like you did okay. I mean, you own the building. 372 00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:49,058 Well, that's because I stopped pouting, I got off my tuchus, 373 00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:51,425 and I started my own business. 374 00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:54,694 And now I'm able to help other struggling women. 375 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:58,867 You know, they set their own hours, they work from their own homes, 376 00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:01,702 and ai-yai-yai, the money! 377 00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:02,764 (LAUGHS) 378 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,967 That sounds like a dream job. 379 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,844 I'll bet you'd be real good at it. 380 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:09,607 Let me show you. 381 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,945 Are there phones involved? 382 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,110 I've been told I have an excellent phone voice. 383 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,144 "Hello, can I interest you in a..." 384 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,489 Oh, my God! 385 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,328 It's my Web site! 386 00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:29,994 Va-Va-Va-Broom. Com. 387 00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:32,502 I got a 10-unit Mac Pro server farm 388 00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:36,098 and a 1.5 meg T1 line. 389 00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:38,639 You run a porn site? 390 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,508 You're trying to lure me 391 00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:41,671 into pornography? 392 00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:44,181 Oh, my God, did you slip something into my tea? 393 00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:47,844 Honey, relax. This is strictly PG. 394 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:52,050 Women doing housework in lingerie. No nudity, no sex. 395 00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:55,316 So, what do you say? 396 00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:57,224 What do I say? 397 00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,663 I say shame. 398 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,294 Shame on you. 399 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:04,791 These are nice, respectable girls, just like you. 400 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,701 Deidre's going to night school to become a nurse, 401 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:13,233 and Martha's trying to start over after a divorce. 402 00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:16,508 Don't they worry about people they know seeing them? 403 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,379 Most of our clients are overseas. 404 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:20,077 You know, Europe, Asia. 405 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:23,417 So if you go to Kuala Lumpur, wear a hat. 406 00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:27,490 Come on, you said you had money problems. 407 00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:32,553 Here's what Martha makes in a week. 408 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:34,759 Hmm. 409 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:37,895 Whoa! 410 00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:44,507 Woe unto Martha for selling her dignity to the highest bidder. 411 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:49,212 I promise, you won't do anything I wouldn't let my own daughter do! 412 00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:53,677 Look for yourself, she's on camera three! 413 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:01,950 What are you looking at? 414 00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,588 Just some family photos. 415 00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,598 That's you the day you were born. 416 00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:11,260 Daddy? 417 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:12,695 Who's that? 418 00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,403 That's your grandma. 419 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,737 Oh. 420 00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,570 I wish I had met her. 421 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,802 You would've loved her. 422 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:25,473 Do you think about her a lot? 423 00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:26,642 Every day. 424 00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:29,482 She was the light of my life. 425 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:31,979 And that's why we named you after her, 426 00:21:32,057 --> 00:21:35,322 because I could not imagine a world without a Juanita Solis in it. 427 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,095 Hey! 428 00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:43,257 You want me to tuck her in? 429 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:45,102 No, I'll do it. Come on. 430 00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:56,741 Amy and I want to go to the mall tomorrow. 431 00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:58,841 Sorry, hon, I have plans. 432 00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:00,509 I could ride my bike. 433 00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:02,576 By yourself? I don't think so. 434 00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:04,581 Why not? 435 00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:06,648 You're too young. That's why not. 436 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:08,818 You're mean. 437 00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:12,921 Well, sometimes I have to be mean, 'cause it's my job to protect you. 438 00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:14,591 What if you got hit by a bus? 439 00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:16,157 That's not going to happen. 440 00:22:16,234 --> 00:22:20,261 Well, I can't take that chance. You are my whole world. 441 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,973 If something happened to you, it would ruin my life. 442 00:22:25,877 --> 00:22:27,208 Do you understand that? 443 00:22:41,259 --> 00:22:42,351 (ORSON SIGHS) 444 00:22:42,394 --> 00:22:45,727 Well, that's the last of it. 445 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:49,125 I'll put these books in the car. Pleasure meeting you, Bree. 446 00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:53,797 Nice of your physical therapist to help with the move. 447 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,066 So, are you gonna be okay? 448 00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:04,743 Let's see, I'm getting a divorce, I lost my business, 449 00:23:04,816 --> 00:23:08,252 and I'm sitting here trying to remember why I quit drinking. 450 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,551 I've had better Mondays. 451 00:23:11,523 --> 00:23:12,649 I'm sorry. 452 00:23:13,024 --> 00:23:14,218 Don't be. 453 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:18,256 It's for the best. 454 00:23:20,532 --> 00:23:23,660 We haven't been happy for a long time. 455 00:23:25,303 --> 00:23:26,998 You know what you need? 456 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,764 A project. 457 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:32,437 No. That's what I always do. 458 00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:35,203 Distract myself with meaningless busywork 459 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,375 as a way of avoiding my emotions. 460 00:23:44,055 --> 00:23:45,716 I think I need to sit quietly 461 00:23:45,791 --> 00:23:48,487 and think about what I'm going to do with my life. 462 00:23:50,629 --> 00:23:55,191 Well, whatever you do, I know it will be spectacular. 463 00:24:06,878 --> 00:24:08,368 Goodbye, Bree. 464 00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:43,502 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 465 00:25:44,242 --> 00:25:45,675 Hi, Bree. 466 00:25:46,177 --> 00:25:48,270 I've been thinking about our conversation last night, 467 00:25:48,313 --> 00:25:50,611 and I just wanted to see how you were doing. 468 00:25:51,082 --> 00:25:53,880 I'm fine. In fact, I took your advice. 469 00:25:55,453 --> 00:25:57,182 I found myself a project. 470 00:26:03,828 --> 00:26:05,887 I'm surprised you agreed to see me. 471 00:26:05,964 --> 00:26:09,798 I wanted to spit in your face. I didn't realize there'd be glass. 472 00:26:10,468 --> 00:26:11,958 That's right, you're not used to prison. 473 00:26:12,003 --> 00:26:14,904 Give yourself time. What is it now, two to five years? 474 00:26:14,973 --> 00:26:17,203 Eighteen months with good behavior. 475 00:26:17,375 --> 00:26:20,902 You're giving me a lot of reasons to be extremely well-behaved. 476 00:26:21,379 --> 00:26:23,574 Maybe I can give you a few pointers on prison life. 477 00:26:23,648 --> 00:26:25,707 I've become a bit of an expert, thanks to you. 478 00:26:26,217 --> 00:26:27,684 Hey, here's one, 479 00:26:27,719 --> 00:26:30,517 it never hurts to tip the guard who does your cavity search. 480 00:26:30,956 --> 00:26:34,050 Listen to me, you son of a bitch, 481 00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:36,525 I don't care what I have to do, 482 00:26:36,561 --> 00:26:40,395 I will see you behind bars again, or dead. 483 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,665 Whichever is easier. 484 00:26:45,804 --> 00:26:49,171 Here's another pointer, they always record the conversations, 485 00:26:49,207 --> 00:26:51,835 so be careful about threatening the man you framed. 486 00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:53,935 You murdered my sister. 487 00:26:54,112 --> 00:26:55,443 (LAUGHS) 488 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,108 That's a crazy, groundless accusation. 489 00:26:58,850 --> 00:27:01,751 I have to go now. I have things to do, like shopping, 490 00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:04,948 and walking around in the open air without a care in the world. 491 00:27:05,023 --> 00:27:06,684 You know you did it. 492 00:27:11,696 --> 00:27:12,890 (MOUTHING) I did. 493 00:27:17,535 --> 00:27:20,060 Wow. They're all so big! 494 00:27:20,271 --> 00:27:22,239 Exactly. Thank you. 495 00:27:22,273 --> 00:27:23,399 You're welcome? 496 00:27:23,441 --> 00:27:24,703 I knew you guys would get it. 497 00:27:24,743 --> 00:27:27,644 Unlike those idiots that walked by my card table in the park. 498 00:27:27,712 --> 00:27:30,272 It's not jewelry, it's wearable art. 499 00:27:30,348 --> 00:27:33,249 So, who wants to try these earrings? 500 00:27:34,085 --> 00:27:38,749 I'm not sure that my delicate ears can support something so large. 501 00:27:40,925 --> 00:27:44,292 How about Gabby? She has big, strong Latino ears. 502 00:27:48,466 --> 00:27:51,765 Lynette, where is this friend of yours? We're all dying to meet her. 503 00:27:51,970 --> 00:27:54,803 Come on, I need a volunteer. Lynette? 504 00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:56,497 Yes! 505 00:27:57,742 --> 00:27:58,766 Yes. 506 00:28:00,779 --> 00:28:01,905 How's it feel? 507 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,443 About as good as it looks, I'm guessing. I'll take them. 508 00:28:05,483 --> 00:28:06,541 Yes! 509 00:28:06,584 --> 00:28:08,950 What are you guys getting? 510 00:28:10,455 --> 00:28:12,685 Yeah, I'm gonna buy this for Bree, 511 00:28:13,158 --> 00:28:15,183 and her strong Protestant neck. 512 00:28:18,063 --> 00:28:19,963 You guys are the best. 513 00:28:19,998 --> 00:28:24,594 Oh, hey, here she is! Okay. Susan, Bree, Gabby, 514 00:28:24,636 --> 00:28:26,661 this is my old college roommate, Renee. 515 00:28:26,738 --> 00:28:28,638 Hi! It is so nice to finally meet you. 516 00:28:28,673 --> 00:28:31,506 Lynette has talked so much about her friend from college. 517 00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:35,706 Oh, yes. You know how in school the pretty girls always hang out together? 518 00:28:36,114 --> 00:28:38,514 Well, I refused to go along with that. 519 00:28:39,617 --> 00:28:40,811 (LYNETTE LAUGHS) 520 00:28:41,019 --> 00:28:43,453 Renee comes off a little stuck-up when you first meet her. 521 00:28:43,488 --> 00:28:45,854 Which is a real time-saver. Sit down. 522 00:28:47,992 --> 00:28:51,723 So, Renee, you have to tell us, what was Lynette like in college? 523 00:28:51,796 --> 00:28:53,491 Absolutely fearless. 524 00:28:54,132 --> 00:28:57,568 She just kept wearing those parachute pants, lesbian rumors be damned. 525 00:28:58,670 --> 00:29:02,128 Yes, Renee was always the one with the fashion sense. 526 00:29:02,173 --> 00:29:05,973 Before I met her, I'd never even heard of Gucci or Prada or Chlamydia. 527 00:29:07,112 --> 00:29:09,706 Wow, you guys play rough. 528 00:29:09,781 --> 00:29:13,148 No, it's just what we do. It's fun. 529 00:29:13,618 --> 00:29:16,314 I tease her about being all botulism from the nose up... 530 00:29:16,387 --> 00:29:19,686 And I tease her about being all cottage cheese from the waist down. 531 00:29:22,460 --> 00:29:25,327 So, Renee, we hear that you're married to Doug Perry? 532 00:29:25,864 --> 00:29:26,888 The baseball player? 533 00:29:27,298 --> 00:29:28,458 No surprise there. 534 00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:32,027 In our sorority, Renee was voted "Most Likely to Marry Well." 535 00:29:32,070 --> 00:29:34,538 And Lynette was voted "Most Likely to Succeed." 536 00:29:38,376 --> 00:29:40,571 So, Bree, I hear you're an amazing cook. 537 00:29:40,645 --> 00:29:43,205 Hang on a second. What was that? 538 00:29:43,248 --> 00:29:44,340 What? 539 00:29:44,382 --> 00:29:46,179 That... 540 00:29:46,217 --> 00:29:50,881 Oh, nothing. I just didn't wanna make you feel bad. 541 00:29:50,922 --> 00:29:52,389 About what? 542 00:29:52,423 --> 00:29:54,220 Well, it's just that 543 00:29:55,059 --> 00:29:59,462 I think our college friends would be surprised to see how you ended up. 544 00:29:59,664 --> 00:30:00,790 (LAUGHING) 545 00:30:04,202 --> 00:30:05,863 Oh, I thought they were still playing. 546 00:30:06,037 --> 00:30:09,700 You know, Renee, I have had a career and raised a family. 547 00:30:09,741 --> 00:30:14,144 And that's great. It's just that we had such high hopes for you. 548 00:30:14,379 --> 00:30:17,507 At least I didn't spend the last 15 years sponging off a rich guy. 549 00:30:17,615 --> 00:30:20,106 Hey, let's stop before somebody gets hurt. 550 00:30:20,185 --> 00:30:21,948 Whatever I got, I got on my own. 551 00:30:22,020 --> 00:30:23,214 And what have you got? 552 00:30:23,254 --> 00:30:25,381 A blouse from the "I've Stopped Trying" collection 553 00:30:25,423 --> 00:30:27,584 and a pair of earrings your kid made at camp? 554 00:30:28,126 --> 00:30:30,060 And somebody got hurt. 555 00:30:30,595 --> 00:30:33,462 That's great. Easy shots. You got more money than me. 556 00:30:33,731 --> 00:30:35,790 It's not about the money. 557 00:30:35,867 --> 00:30:38,301 The Lynette I knew never would've settled for this. 558 00:30:38,369 --> 00:30:42,203 You were adventurous. You backpacked through Croatia. 559 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,573 You jumped on stage at a Springsteen concert. 560 00:30:46,578 --> 00:30:49,206 It's just hard for me to reconcile this suburban housewife 561 00:30:49,247 --> 00:30:50,646 with the girl who had a threesome 562 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:52,843 with two of the guys from the rugby team! 563 00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:55,914 (THUD) 564 00:31:02,627 --> 00:31:05,824 Why would she do this? Why would she jump in a private jet 565 00:31:05,897 --> 00:31:09,424 and fly all the way across the country just to dump on my life? 566 00:31:09,467 --> 00:31:10,957 Two guys, huh? 567 00:31:11,736 --> 00:31:13,397 We're not talking about that anymore. 568 00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:15,633 I mean, isn't her life perfect enough? 569 00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:19,302 Does she really need to score bonus points by taking me down? 570 00:31:19,377 --> 00:31:24,007 So was it one rugby guy and then the other, or just sort of a scrum? 571 00:31:24,082 --> 00:31:25,174 Oh, drop it, Tom! 572 00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:28,651 You know, I have shielded you from some of the wilder things that I've done. 573 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,745 Like that time at the amusement park, 574 00:31:30,955 --> 00:31:34,288 a little story I like to call "D-cups on the teacups." 575 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:38,991 Okay, I'm dropping it now. 576 00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:40,189 Thank you. 577 00:31:40,231 --> 00:31:42,199 Why are you getting so upset? 578 00:31:42,233 --> 00:31:44,497 I mean, I thought you and Renee love to zing each other. 579 00:31:45,336 --> 00:31:47,167 Those werert zings! 580 00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:48,533 When she made that... 581 00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:50,632 (INHALES SHARPLY) "Aw," she meant it! 582 00:31:50,675 --> 00:31:52,006 I mean, what the hell was that? 583 00:31:52,143 --> 00:31:54,941 She doesn't get to be disappointed in my life. 584 00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:56,979 Well, maybe you should tell her how you feel. 585 00:31:57,015 --> 00:31:59,279 Yeah. You're right. You're right. 586 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:02,853 In fact, I am going to tell her a lot more than that. 587 00:32:03,421 --> 00:32:05,889 Good for you. But when you get back, 588 00:32:05,957 --> 00:32:09,552 I'd like to revisit a certain request I made on my 40th birthday, 589 00:32:09,627 --> 00:32:12,721 which, in light of recent revelations, seems a lot more... 590 00:32:14,365 --> 00:32:15,389 Okay. 591 00:32:22,006 --> 00:32:23,132 What's this? 592 00:32:23,174 --> 00:32:26,041 Yellow Pages. "Hotel" is under "H." 593 00:32:27,645 --> 00:32:30,546 Yeah, I had a feeling I hit a nerve this afternoon. 594 00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:33,583 If you find my life that pathetic, 595 00:32:33,651 --> 00:32:36,245 I'm going to spare you the agony of observing it. 596 00:32:36,321 --> 00:32:39,154 And by the way, "taxi" is under "T." 597 00:32:41,225 --> 00:32:43,420 Lynette, I don't think your life is pathetic. 598 00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:50,097 Maybe not. But you clearly think yours is a whole lot better. 599 00:32:50,168 --> 00:32:54,662 So if you need me to say it, I'll say it. You win. 600 00:32:54,706 --> 00:32:57,675 You got the fabulous clothes, the penthouse apartment 601 00:32:57,709 --> 00:32:58,937 and the rich husband. 602 00:32:59,010 --> 00:33:00,170 Congratulations. 603 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:04,005 Doug is leaving me. 604 00:33:06,751 --> 00:33:08,412 I found out he was cheating 605 00:33:09,587 --> 00:33:11,851 with his agent's assistant. 606 00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:17,956 I confronted him, told him it was her or me, and he chose her. 607 00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:22,299 I threw some things in a bag and took off. 608 00:33:22,367 --> 00:33:24,460 I didn't have a plan. I just needed to get out of there. 609 00:33:24,535 --> 00:33:27,470 And I couldn't think of anywhere else to go. 610 00:33:31,409 --> 00:33:34,310 Why didn't you tell me this? 611 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,080 What, that my life is about to fall apart? 612 00:33:38,116 --> 00:33:40,641 I haven't even admitted it to myself yet. 613 00:33:41,619 --> 00:33:43,314 How could I tell you? 614 00:33:43,955 --> 00:33:48,153 Well, of course you can stay here, as long as you want. 615 00:33:49,060 --> 00:33:50,084 Thanks. 616 00:33:52,296 --> 00:33:57,063 And to show my appreciation, I would like to pay for your first face-lift. 617 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,565 That is so generous. 618 00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:05,001 Although, now you've had nine, you probably get the next one free. 619 00:34:11,215 --> 00:34:12,409 Hey, Carlos. What can I... 620 00:34:12,450 --> 00:34:15,510 I'll make this quick. I'm gonna give you two options. 621 00:34:15,586 --> 00:34:18,578 Option one, I sue this hospital for, 622 00:34:18,623 --> 00:34:21,592 I don't know, 10, 20 million dollars. And I think I'll get it. 623 00:34:21,993 --> 00:34:23,324 That would bankrupt us. 624 00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:26,090 Then you're probably gonna wanna go for option two. 625 00:34:26,130 --> 00:34:27,154 Which is? 626 00:34:27,231 --> 00:34:28,823 You make this whole thing go away. 627 00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:31,266 Shred the documents, call off the search for the other family. 628 00:34:31,302 --> 00:34:34,294 And never, ever, let Gabby find out about this. 629 00:34:34,572 --> 00:34:38,599 Carlos, we've sent out letters, hired investigators. 630 00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:41,636 I don't know if this process can be stopped. 631 00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:42,703 Try. 632 00:34:42,747 --> 00:34:46,649 And even if it could, this is a hell of a thing you're taking on, 633 00:34:47,185 --> 00:34:49,449 keeping this secret by yourself. 634 00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:54,714 What's my choice? If Gabby knew the truth, it would kill her. 635 00:34:56,761 --> 00:34:59,855 No. I can't tell her. 636 00:35:00,698 --> 00:35:01,995 I can't tell him. 637 00:35:02,533 --> 00:35:03,966 Are you sure? 638 00:35:04,001 --> 00:35:06,970 Doesrt he deserve to know what Andrew did to his mother? 639 00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:12,066 You have to understand. Carlos is so happy right now. 640 00:35:12,977 --> 00:35:15,571 Our marriage is the best it's ever been. 641 00:35:15,646 --> 00:35:18,843 He loves his job, the girls are turning out so beautifully. 642 00:35:21,018 --> 00:35:25,512 Except for this one, easily ignorable, blip, 643 00:35:27,158 --> 00:35:29,092 our life is perfect. 644 00:35:31,996 --> 00:35:33,987 And I won't let anything change that. 645 00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:39,734 Pork chops for dinner. 646 00:35:39,871 --> 00:35:41,896 I know it was a bit of a splurge, but I made up for it. 647 00:35:42,073 --> 00:35:43,506 One-ply toilet paper. 648 00:35:46,377 --> 00:35:47,537 Is something wrong? 649 00:35:47,578 --> 00:35:50,046 The bank turned down my loan application. 650 00:35:50,715 --> 00:35:53,013 Without that money, I can't hire any help. 651 00:35:53,050 --> 00:35:56,713 And without help, it's just gonna be one dinky job after another. 652 00:35:57,188 --> 00:35:58,621 We'll never get out of here like that. 653 00:36:00,625 --> 00:36:01,819 (SIGHS) 654 00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:06,524 Okay. Well, we'll scrimp and save. 655 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:10,263 I won't buy pork chops anymore. I'm gonna return these. 656 00:36:12,336 --> 00:36:14,133 I'm thinking about taking a job in Alaska. 657 00:36:14,972 --> 00:36:16,030 What? 658 00:36:16,073 --> 00:36:17,097 A buddy told me about it. 659 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:20,303 Six months on an oil rig, one year at the most. 660 00:36:21,245 --> 00:36:23,145 I can make triple what I can earn here. 661 00:36:23,214 --> 00:36:25,273 You can probably move back in the house before I'm even done. 662 00:36:25,416 --> 00:36:28,442 Mike, that is really dangerous work. 663 00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:33,781 MJ needs you here. I need you here. No, there's gotta be another way. 664 00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:38,124 You think I want to go? We don't have any good options here. 665 00:36:41,933 --> 00:36:44,265 Give me a month before you make a decision. 666 00:36:44,802 --> 00:36:47,669 I've just got a feeling that this jewelry thing of mine 667 00:36:47,805 --> 00:36:49,966 could start pulling in some serious money. 668 00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:53,442 Sweetheart, you're talented, but "serious money"? 669 00:36:54,412 --> 00:36:57,279 You'd be surprised what some people are willing to pay for. 670 00:36:58,482 --> 00:36:59,710 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 671 00:37:03,287 --> 00:37:06,586 No nudity, no sex. And no one can ever know. 672 00:37:07,158 --> 00:37:09,353 I am so glad I can help. 673 00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:17,858 So what did you remove this with, a puma? 674 00:37:18,302 --> 00:37:20,270 I was anxious to get rid of it. 675 00:37:20,571 --> 00:37:24,132 My soon-to-be ex-husband picked out most of the decor, 676 00:37:24,175 --> 00:37:26,268 and I realized I needed a fresh start. 677 00:37:26,410 --> 00:37:29,174 You know, wallpaper is nice, but it's a little... 678 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,011 Well, it's your house, not mine. 679 00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:35,109 No, Keith, please. I hired you. I want to hear your ideas. 680 00:37:35,186 --> 00:37:39,122 I would suggest that you paint this room something, you know, bold. 681 00:37:40,791 --> 00:37:45,785 Oh, I like the sound of that. Perhaps a nice deep beige? 682 00:37:46,297 --> 00:37:48,458 Or bolder. 683 00:37:48,499 --> 00:37:51,662 I mean, with the size of this room and the light, you could go 684 00:37:53,104 --> 00:37:54,366 scarlet red. 685 00:37:54,772 --> 00:37:56,865 Please don't take this the wrong way, 686 00:37:56,941 --> 00:38:00,433 but I'm going to be serving dinner in this room, not sailors. 687 00:38:00,544 --> 00:38:01,738 (CAR HORN HONKING) 688 00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:05,939 Could you excuse me for a moment? I'll be right back. 689 00:38:13,691 --> 00:38:15,124 Here you go. 690 00:38:15,159 --> 00:38:17,150 The final division of assets. 691 00:38:17,194 --> 00:38:20,493 Just need a Jill Hancock from you, and we're all set. 692 00:38:23,334 --> 00:38:26,167 Before I forget, Andrew's having a dinner party on the 10th 693 00:38:26,203 --> 00:38:29,400 and he'd love for you to come. Even though we're separating, 694 00:38:29,473 --> 00:38:32,909 we both want you to feel that you're still part of the family. 695 00:38:33,711 --> 00:38:35,508 I'm touched. Thank you, Bree. 696 00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:40,378 Orson, don't we have plans? The wine tasting? 697 00:38:42,286 --> 00:38:43,378 Uh... 698 00:38:45,723 --> 00:38:48,021 Why don't you wait for me in the van? 699 00:38:52,129 --> 00:38:54,529 As you may have gleaned, 700 00:38:55,299 --> 00:38:58,860 my relationship with Judy has evolved. 701 00:38:59,737 --> 00:39:02,228 Was it evolving while you and I were still together? 702 00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:04,365 No, no, of course not. 703 00:39:04,408 --> 00:39:06,774 Apparently she had feelings for me, 704 00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:09,904 but she waited a respectable amount of time before expressing them. 705 00:39:10,147 --> 00:39:11,671 It's been a week! 706 00:39:11,716 --> 00:39:15,675 You know the expression, "The ink's not even dry"? It's not dry! 707 00:39:18,155 --> 00:39:20,783 We have separated, Bree. 708 00:39:22,059 --> 00:39:24,857 And the two of us spent so many years being miserable, 709 00:39:24,895 --> 00:39:26,886 I just think at our age, 710 00:39:26,931 --> 00:39:29,957 we can't let an opportunity for happiness pass us by. 711 00:39:39,744 --> 00:39:43,271 Forget the red. I've got something here called "moonstruck yellow" 712 00:39:43,347 --> 00:39:46,145 that will kick your dining room's ass. 713 00:39:47,885 --> 00:39:49,113 Come on. I promise you'll love this. 714 00:39:49,186 --> 00:39:51,984 With your red hair, you will look so hot in this room. 715 00:39:54,258 --> 00:39:58,558 But, you know, whatever you want. Clearly, you have other options. 716 00:40:01,565 --> 00:40:03,089 Maybe I do. 717 00:40:09,907 --> 00:40:12,808 There's my favorite realtor. Thanks for coming over. 718 00:40:13,444 --> 00:40:14,604 How are you? 719 00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:16,510 A bit of a pariah, thanks to you. 720 00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:19,779 Don't tell me the neighbors are blaming you for my return. 721 00:40:19,817 --> 00:40:20,875 Of course they are. 722 00:40:21,452 --> 00:40:23,579 You know, when you told me that you didn't have any pets, 723 00:40:23,621 --> 00:40:24,918 you could have mentioned that it's because 724 00:40:24,955 --> 00:40:26,354 they don't allow them in prison! 725 00:40:26,457 --> 00:40:30,120 Now, now. Be nice. I'm about to throw some more business your way. 726 00:40:30,161 --> 00:40:31,253 Oh? 727 00:40:31,295 --> 00:40:32,819 I hear that my old house is back in the market. 728 00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:35,664 I'd like to buy it. 729 00:40:36,467 --> 00:40:38,128 Because of all the wonderful memories? 730 00:40:38,469 --> 00:40:39,527 Just find out what they're asking. 731 00:40:39,603 --> 00:40:41,696 Okay. But you just signed a one-year lease on this place, 732 00:40:41,772 --> 00:40:43,296 and you're buying a house across the street? 733 00:40:43,340 --> 00:40:44,967 That doesn't sound like a very good plan. 734 00:40:45,142 --> 00:40:48,669 Oh, believe me. I've had 10 years to work on this plan. 735 00:40:49,313 --> 00:40:50,712 It's a good one. 736 00:40:52,783 --> 00:40:55,274 MARY ALICE: Bad news travels quickly, 737 00:40:55,419 --> 00:40:59,185 and when it arrives, we have to find a way to deal with it. 738 00:41:02,993 --> 00:41:06,394 If our husbands tell us they've moved on, 739 00:41:07,097 --> 00:41:09,827 we look for projects to distract us. 740 00:41:12,603 --> 00:41:14,901 If the bills start to stack up, 741 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,900 we find ways to earn extra cash. 742 00:41:21,545 --> 00:41:26,175 If we're told a secret too terrible to share, 743 00:41:26,217 --> 00:41:29,186 we learn to keep it to ourselves. 744 00:41:30,888 --> 00:41:34,847 But we must remember, the bad news that's delivered 745 00:41:35,192 --> 00:41:39,993 can sometimes be good news in disguise. 746 00:41:40,664 --> 00:41:42,996 That the guy you were talking about? 747 00:41:44,802 --> 00:41:46,394 The one that killed your sister? 748 00:41:47,004 --> 00:41:48,562 It certainly is. 749 00:41:49,306 --> 00:41:52,673 He looks like a killer. It's a shame they let him out. 750 00:41:53,477 --> 00:41:56,275 As it turns out, it's all for the best. 751 00:41:56,847 --> 00:42:00,214 Paul can now receive the punishment he's entitled to. 752 00:42:01,986 --> 00:42:03,010 What do you mean? 753 00:42:03,220 --> 00:42:05,586 Just between us girls, 754 00:42:05,890 --> 00:42:08,654 Paul Young will be dead within six months. 755 00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:10,857 How are you going to make that happen? 756 00:42:10,895 --> 00:42:13,090 You're in here at least two years. 757 00:42:14,331 --> 00:42:17,027 True. But you see, 758 00:42:18,202 --> 00:42:21,069 Paul Young doesn't have friends on that street. 759 00:42:23,674 --> 00:42:24,868 I do.